Do I want to bring a child into this world?
That is a good question. I hear it all of the time. If you have to ask the question the answer is probably no. If you are an alcoholic or drug addict the answer is definitely no. If you are a smoker unless you quit the answer is no.
Sadly being a parent is a job that takes on the job training. There are many parenting books on the market and many are contradictory. I remember Dr. Spock and saw the damage done by his methods of parenting. He even apologized to the parents and children when he realized he was wrong.
The way I look at it the answer is yes if you can raise children to be good students, to stay away from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, to respect and learn from their elders, to not bully or cut down others, to be a good leader and follower and most importantly of you can be a good example for your children.
"Do as I say, not as I do." That is the worst philosophy I have ever heard. It borders on stupidity. No matter what you say they will do as you do and you have no one to blame but yourself.
A bad environment is a bad excuse for a child going bad if the parent does there job as a parent. The kid got in with the wrong crowd is not an excuse but a cop out. I am a single parent is not an excuse.
Are there children that are just plain bad. No matter what you do there is something inside of them that makes them bad. I have heard some say there is no such thing as a bad kid. I think there is. Most of these children have a mental problem. Some have a physical problem. With medication and is some cases surgery they can be changed. The ones that have to have medication must take that medication.
We can not tell our children how to act. We have to teach out children. We have to be an example to our children. We have to care about our children and show them we care. We have to love our children and show them out love.
The material things may make life easier and more fun but love, affection and caring make life worth living and help a child become a success.
Parenting is a 24/7 job. Whenever you children need you, be there for them. Show them what drugs and alcohol do to people. Let them see the people in the streets. Contact rehab clinics and ask them if they have someone who experienced it first hand that can talk to your child. Get of group of parents together and do it in a group.
We have group therapy for people who are screwed up. Why not have groups that will help parents and the children before they make the mistakes. Talk to you friends and neighbors. Talk to your school officials. May be you can meet at the school and get teachers to volunteer their time to help the groups.
Why can't the PTA (PTO) work both ways, with the school and parents to improve the educating of our children. The schools teach book sense. The parents help with book sense and teach street sense. The PTA can work with both.
There was a 12 year old boy in Detroit. He kicked his parents out of the house and started selling drugs. He was murdered. How could a 12 year old become dangerous enough to kick his parents out. The first thing you think of is that the parents blew it. How could parents be so irresponsible to let a child get so bad. They probably gave up on the child.
Many cities are making parents pay for the crimes of the children. Parents can go to jail if the kids are chronic truants.
If you see that your child is getting out of control seek expert help. If you can't afford it go to the school or the Child Protective Agency. The child may need to spend some time in a home for wayward children. You may get help from the courts. Maybe you can contact Judge Hatchet.
When my ex wife and I adopted a child we had to take a parenting class. Maybe that should be a requirement for all parents. There should be a class for seniors in high school and for those that go to college a parenting class should be a requirement.
If you can not give your children love, affection and guidance then you may not want to have children. There are a lot of methods of birth control out there and if you screw up there is always giving up the child for adoption.
If you have the time and the desire to help children look into Big Brothers and Sisters and mentor programs. If you know a single parent child that needs help and you feel you can help approach the parent and offer to help. If you are seeing a single parent offer your help. In many cases you will end up helping anyway because you are getting a package deal.
Some animals the little ones are raised by the community. I am not saying that humans should do this but I am saying that we can have group help.
© Copyright 2002 Lee W. Gaylord