How To Treat a Lady

I have been married twice and I have dated many women. Both wives and I have a mutual dislike for each other. The ex girl friends and I are in most cases still friends. Why is that? I did not know something I learned from the marriages until after it was too late. You've got to know when to hold them and when to fold them.

The sad part about marriage is divorce and what it does to the children. Staying together for the children is usually a mistake. The children sense the tension and that makes them tense. If you see your marriage going down the tubes you may want to try to seek a counselor before it is too late. If that doesn't work you may think about working together to find a way to end the marriage and save the friendship for the sake of the children.

As we grow older our personalities change. When go from dating to living together to marriage we change. We have to realize that we are changing and listen to our partner when they tell us we are changing. If a change is for the bad then we have to try to undo the change. This has to work both ways. If your partner is unwilling to listen then think about ending it.

Now we get to how to treat a lady. The lady should also use this for how to treat a gentleman.

1. Honesty: Always tell the truth even when it hurts. Lies are to hard to keep track of and we will always be caught in a lie.

2. Faithfulness: If you see someone down the road that you would rather be with or if you want to test the waters, let your partner know that it is time for you to go. If you screwed up maybe you partner will take you back but don't hold your breath. It might be a good idea not to try the waters but stick with a sure thing.

3. Reliability: Always be there for your partner. Make sure they can depend on you when they need you. If you say you will do something follow through.

4. Self respect: Always build your partners self respect. Most women I have been out with have had a problem with men putting them down and abusing them. Many have had one or both their parents putting them down. You have to convince them that they are not stupid and help them obtain their maximum potential. (Both of my ex-wives told my parents that the greatest gift I gave them was there self respect.)

5. Don't have sex but make love: Fore play is the key here. Sometimes caressing and kissing are all that is needed. Make each time a little different than the last few times. Try new things and different places. (Hot tub, kitchen, back yard, back seat of the car, drive in movie) Be inventive.

6. Romance: Never let it die. Flowers or a stuffed animal for no reason always help keep it going. Night out to dinner. A motel. The back row of a theater so you can make out.

7. House work: If you are living together the house work is not all of the woman's work. Share it based on the jobs you have. If you both work the same hours the house work should be split evenly.

8. Children from a previous relationship: This is most important. If your partner has children you are entering into a package deal. If you can not get along with the children don't even try a relationship with the mother. You have to love the children too. You have to win their love. Discipline is up to the mother. I never hit the children but I do scold them. If you and your partner can not agree on discipline, let it go.

I hope that what I have said has helped some couples. If you have decided to try harder to keep the relationship going or if you have decided it is not a relationship that should continue I am happy. Like Kenny Rogers said, "You've got to know when to hold them and you've got to know when to fold them."

I would much rather see a bad relationship end with mutual understanding than to have it end with hatred. There are many cases where people can be in love when living apart and yet when they live together their love turns to hate. Before it turns to hate pull apart and be friends. Each go your own way but know that your are there for each other in times of need.

© Copyright 2002 Lee W. Gaylord

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