Drugs and Alcohol
Over the past few years,
except for 4 or 5 joints, I have not done illegal drugs.
At one time I was a drunk. I am now a reformed drunk. I was not an alcoholic because I totally stopped drinking on my own 10 years ago. In the last 10 years I have had 3 glasses of champagne and 2 beers. I have tended bar and lived in bars and did not even want anything stronger than cola. I also use nicotine and caffeine.
I have never used cocaine, heroin or any of the other illegal drugs except for "bud"
As I mentioned above, my life has been affected by it. I have lost friends to drugs and I have lost women I have cared for to crack and alcohol.
My second wife and I took my children from the first marriage to the ethnic festivals on the Detroit River quite often when they were kids. One time there was a man in his early 30's eating out of garbage cans. A couple with no sense or compassion teased him with a cup of beer. The would act like they were giving it to him then take it away. They then threw it in the garbage and he dove into it to try to get the beer before it all came out of the cup.
My son asked me why he was that way. I said drug and alcohol have fried his brains.
A few years ago after my divorce I met a young lady that was a joy to be with. Then I found she was cross addicted with drugs and alcohol. When she was sober and not high we had a great time together. When I got money in she would disappear and the drug dealers would start calling. The first had her pager and would sell it back to me. The second would have a ring or two. When she ran out of things to trade she would be back.
She finally went into detox for a week. She came out and was waiting for a 30 day program. She went a month drug and alcohol free. We were going to take a long weekend off and I had $700 together for the trip.
She helped mw with my accounting business and the night before the trip she decided to spend the night at my place above the office. She told me to go to bed and she would come up later after finishing some work.
In the morning I found my wallet on my desk with a note asking for forgiveness and it was missing $350. The next day the dealers started calling and by the end of the day the money was gone and a dealer was holding her until I came up with the money she owed him.
When she came back she asked me to lock her in the office for a week and she would have the same diet that she had in detox. After the week she was straight for a week. Locked up for a week. Then she ended up leaving me for a dealer.
She now has a beautiful little girl (not mine) she is doing well. I saw her the other day and she seems to be clean and sobber.
She came in the bar while I was shooting pool. I was winning until she walked in and I lost my concentration on the game. She was slender with extensions. Her skin was a beautiful medium brown. I knew that we would be together within a week.
She came to the juke box and looked for the quarter slot. It only took dollar bills. I put a dollar in and said< "Baby, if I had the money I would take you out and show you a good time, but I don't so I won't." After I was whipped in the pool game I went to her and bought her a beer with my last $1.50. I had water. She said she was meeting a guy but if it did not work out she wanted to call me so I gave her my number.
Five minutes after I got home she called and said she had corned beef and cabbage for me and asked how long it would take to get there. I said 15 minutes and she asked why because I was only about 4 blocks away. I said I had to shave. She said in 5 minutes I would not be let in. I was there in 3.
In three days I had a fire at my office. My office wasn't damaged by fire, it stayed in the business in the front of the building, but the smoke smell was bad so she asked me to stay with her for 3 days. It lasted 6 months.
The rent, utilities and food were covered by her welfare. I ended up paying for her crack and 40 ouncers. Before I knew it I was buying her drugs. The dealers would stop me on the street when the got new houses and take me to introduce me to theirs sales people. (Being an older white man I had to get an intro because they would think I was narco.
If I got caught I would go to jail for sale of crack. I didn't use it so I had to be buying for sale. She gave me a place to stay and sex and in return (according to the law) I gave her the crack. I lived with her 5 times. Each time was better but she could not shake it. The last time I thought it would work.
She got pregnant.
She had a miscarriage in the second month. She blamed me.
She was still drinking and using crack on weekends when she would go to Detroit. (We were living North of Detroit.) There were complications and they did ultrasounds weekly. The baby was there and alive one week and the next we went in for an ultrasound and the baby was gone. The doctor said that it was at the stage where when it died it disintegrated in the sack. (I know this is sickening but I feel that it has to be known.) After we split up for the last time my doctor told me that the crack and alcohol caused the death.
It takes 5 years after a woman stops using cocaine for the system to clear and for it to be safe to have a baby.
Almost a month after her 40th birthday she had a stroke. As of this writing we are good friends and she is recovering from a second stroke. She knows she can no longer use drugs or alcohol. I think the stroke saved her life.
In between times with the last one I was seeing another young lady. She did not drink and that made me happy. I soon found out that the money she made was gone too fast and the money I made was going to pay her bills. She was on crack. Until I became homeless I was paying her bills.
Good ending to this
one. She has been drug free for 3 years and will stay that
way. She did it on her own and it is something she is and
should be proud of. She is working hard and long hours to get a place
for her and her daughter.
I still have strong feelings for all three of them.
As I said before I have seen alot of drug use and I have seen many lives ruined. I have had friends die because of drugs. The strange thing is that in the first 2 cases the dealers asked if they could help me in getting the girlfriend off the drugs. They offered not to sell to them but I said I would rather have them buy from them than someone that may harm them.
I feel that the penalty should be life for selling drugs to minors. When an adults buy the drugs it is on them not the dealer. The users have the choice when they start. They know the danger and if anyone says they don't that is bull.
Until recently the feds helped them pay for their drugs with SSI. If they used they were crazy and could not work so SSI paid them. I think one idea was that if they got the money the would lead to less crime to get the money for drugs. I say that gave them more drugs because the next day it was gone and they were out trying to get more drug money to feed their habit.
What can we do? It takes people with experience with drugs to help keep others from making the mistakes they made. I had a client who worked for GM's drug program. He was a heroin addict. White but raised in the Black hood. If you did not see him but heard him talk you would swear he was black. One morning he woke up with his gun in his bed. A bullet was fired and he didn't know where. For all he knew he may have killed someone. Too this day when the door bell ring he worries it may be the cops to get him for murder.
Someday I want to open a rehab center for drugs and alcohol. The building I want is going to be destroyed of the stadium and or casino projects. It is on a pie shaped lot and looks like a castle. I wanted to call it the castle of hope. A man I knew, who looked like Santa and many thought he was Santa because of the miracles the performed, knew people who could help and he said he would help. I knew a preacher, who was in love with the mother who with her 2 kids stayed with me (see my other sites for their story), was going to help. When she and the kids disappeared (drug related) he could no longer help.
If the little girl above was your child, would you want her to have a drug and/or alcohol problem? If you become an addict, she may become an addict too?
If you are in
love with a person who is an addict, I feel for you. I am in love
with one now. I think she is kicking the habit but it takes time.
There are times when tough love is the way to go. There are times
when you have to cut them loose. DO NOT LET THEM DRAG YOU DOWN!!!
They have to decide when to quit. If they are not ready, no rehab in
the world can help. The only way you can help them is to convince
them to help themself.
Drugs and Alcohol II
I have had a lot of friends who were addicted to drugs and/or
alcohol. Some quit on there own and some quit with the help of NA
Until recently it was thought to be a poor black problem. It is not and was not a black problem. Drug use is higher with white children than black children. It is a human problem that affects all races, nationalities and ethnic backgrounds.
It is in the schools in the city, in the suburbs and in the
country. All of us know people who have been hurt or killed by them.
When I was in high school I lost 6 friends because of their or
someone else's drunkenness. I have lost many friends in the last 20
years to drug addiction.
As time goes by the drugs get worse. Heroin is back and it is worse than it ever was.
We now have ecstasy which is the most dangerous of all drugs. It is easy to make but it is also dangerous to make because of the explosive chemicals. I works on the brain and can kill on the first use. It is like playing Russian roulette for sex. Another problem with this drug is that guys are slipping it into women's drinks for sex (drug rape).
The only way to stop drug use is to stop the users. Parents start teaching the kids young. In elementary school. If you use drugs quit before the kids are born. If its to late quit before the know what your are doing. Don't do as I do but do as I say, does not cut it anymore.
I feel that drug use around children is child abuse and the children should be taken away until the abuse stops. If a parent is in a car accident with the children in Michigan and there blood shows alcohol or illegal drugs it is child abuse and an investigation is started. One mistake afterwards can cause another investigation and you can lose your children if you are a drug addict.
I have seen small children with contact high caused by the parents smoking crack. A baby before it has developed in the womb can die and disintegrate because of the mothers drug use. My baby died this way. If an addict stops using drugs it takes five years for the system to clean itself out and this can happen to an unborn child in those five years.
If you have a friend that is an addict. Seek help for you to help them. They will not quit unless they want to. Try to convince them that they want to quit.
© Copyright 2001 Lee W. Gaylord
The Castle of Hope for Lost Souls