My wallet has been running on or near E for a long time. I could not afford car insurance. It was needed to get license plates. Having the need to drive I forged 15 day temporary tags and did not register the cars. I called them throw away cars.

I had a 1975 Olds Regency 98 that had a good body. The engine alone was worth $500. I paid $100 for the car. With a little over $1,000 I could have it looking like new. It already ran like new. I had my girl friend's and her daughter's pictures on my dashboard.

I went through a yellow light but it changed to red before I got out of the intersection. Suddenly I saw blue lights flashing behind me.

A black cop and a white cop got out of the car. The black cop stayed at the back of the car to back up his partner. The white cop came up and saw the pictures on the dashboard. He wasn't happy.

He said, "So you like little black girls?"

I answered politely, "That is my future wife and daughter, sir?"

You could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

The black cop noticed the 15 day tag and said, "Is this tag a Xerox, sir?"

I'm thinking that I am going to get a ticket and said, "Yes sir, it is."

The white cop got all excited and exclaimed with the greatest of joy, "That's a felony! You can get 2 to 4 years in prison!"

Hi looked at my drivers license and asked if it had the right address on it. I told him I lived in the apartments around the corner. He said, "You can't live there."

The black cop tried not to laugh. I asked, "Why can't I live there, sir?"

"There aren't any white people there."

The partner was ready to roll over laughing and I answered, "What makes you think I am white, sir?"

The partner couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing. While he was frisking and cuffing me the white cop ran my drivers license.

I have never seen anyone so happy as he shouted, "He has 3 fugitive warrants. 2 for tickets and one for child support."

I was in deep shit.

The white cop drove my car and his partner and I were in the cop car. At the impound yard the white cop could not get out of the car. He started to get upset and yelled, "Get me out of here!"

His partner and I were now on first name basis and he asked, "Lee, could you let me know how my partner can get out of your car."



"How can you stand that bigot?"

"I can't but he is my partner and I have to work with him."

"I'll set him free if you set me free."

"I can't because it was already called in but I will tell the guards at the precinct to give you your cigarettes and a light when they go by you."

"OK, but only for you. Tell the idiot to start the car, unlock the door, lower the window and open the door from outside." Actually all he had to do was unlock it but I wanted to make them think it was difficult.

I went to the precinct lockup for 72 hours. The cell was 6 by 6. A concrete bed with poly urethane painted on the top. The toilet was on one side of a post with the sink on the other . If you sit on the pot don't be surprised if a female guard goes by. I always asked, "How ya doin babe."

Except for two meals the guards over cooked all of the bologna sandwiches so I had two sandwiches in 72 hours.

When the guard came by and I wanted a cigarette he would give me one and light it. The other inmates yelled, "Who has the squares?" Of course since it was not allowed , I would yell the same thing.

When I was taken to court the guard gave me my lighter and 8 cigarettes. There were 8 of us in the van so I became a hero and gave them all a square and a light. I then got rid of the lighter.

© Copyright 2001 Lee W. Gaylord

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