I am me

or

What you see is what you get.

Do I care what you think about me? Not really. Since I came up with that answer I now have more friends than I ever have had for my whole life. I no longer push myself on people. I no longer put on a show. I no longer try to make friends.

I am myself and I do not put on a phoney face just to make friends or impress people. If you see me in the streets you may think I am a bum. I am an accountant and have a few clients. I do not own a suit. I ride the bus. I have decided to limit my income to enough to survive.

If someone has a problem I will listen and use my years of studying life to help them. There are about 100 people in this apartment building. I have talked to all of them. I hear that I am probably one of the most respected people in the building. Some watch over me and put the word out that you don't mess with me.

Why? I am me. I do not bull shit anyone. I do not down anyone. I do not put on airs. I treat everyone as an equal. More important I think of everyone as an equal.

That is why I get along so well in the black world. A black person knows bull shit when they see it or hear it. The white man has been bull shitting them. I have been told that I am so well liked because I am thought of as a brother. Some have said that I am like no white person they have ever seen. I am the only one that does not talk down to them.

Many whites hate me. They think of me as a traitor. I am me. I am not anyone else and I do not want to be anyone else. I do not care what society says about me. I do not care what other whites think of me. I do not try to impress anyone. What you see is what you get. Me.

It may sound like I am prejudice against whites. If you lived my life you have reason to be. If you lived your life as a black man or woman you probably would be. I give everyone an equal chance.

Think about a child who sees his father lynched and has to escape from the south in order not to be killed by the lynch mob. Think about the girl from Detroit who visits her family down south and get beat up buy 5 men and boys because she was on the wrong side of the street.

It is better now but it is still bad. My friends know that I have been discriminated against because of my choice of friends and girl friends. I have lost material things but gained something more important (true friends.)

I am in a world where people accept me. Not the white guy, not the crazy old white man but me.

My clients accept me as me and for the work I do for them. They know I am a little strange. They know I am not normal. They know I am me.

So here it is my friends. If you like me I am happy. If you do not like me that is your loss not mine because I am me.

© Copyright 2002 Lee W. Gaylord

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